Wednesday, August 22, 2007

The Wal-Mart Theology Department

So the other day, my brother and I are wandering around Wal-Mart (having lost my dad somewhere) and we wander past the Books section. Naturally, me being there, we have to stop. So I peruse their collection of Steamy Romances, Clever Romances, Not So Steamy But Also Not So Risque Romances, the racks of westerns with one story but so many different covers, the poorly written novels meant to thrill adults, the poorly written novellas meant to scare children....

And I happen upon their Bibles. My eye immediately went to the one most obviously designed for someone in my demographic. This book was not called The Bible, or even The Holy Bible; oh no, this was "The Message: Remix." In fact, it was Version 2.0. Because apparently version 1.0 or even 1.5 wasn't quite up to snuff, Word-of-God wise.

I was giving voice to some of these thoughts (aimed in the direction of my brother), when a Wal-Mart employee with pink hair wandered past (though I'm sure she had a purpose). Apparently she overheard me, for she said, "Okay now, making fun of themed Bibles is just too easy."

We talked with her for a couple minutes, and she told us about a Bible they had once that was even worse. Apparently it was bright pink, and, in sequins, had the word PRINCESS emblazoned across the front.

If anybody sees Charles Finney, give him a good kick for me, ok?


Dr. Luther in the 21st Century said...

Princess? Ugh! I'd rather read a papal bull!

People, who by into the themed bible nonsense are the same people who buy iMacs because they are prettier than pc's.

Ethan said...

Well said, Doktor.

Darth Nemoyer said...

So, how does one treat such a Bible?

Ethan said...

Um, duh? One treats it with the same respect on treats any Bible. It's the philosophy behind the packaging I was objecting to.

Darth Nemoyer said...

I love asking questions that can be answered "Um, duh?". ..especially when they almost sound like they could be good questions too. :P

Ethan said...


Ps. You suck.


Darth Nemoyer said...